We’ve all been there: You’re on a first date, the wine is flowing, the tapas are delicious, and he just ordered a dessert to share—he’ll spoon-feed you the first bite. Butterflies. All the feelings are happening.
You’re thinking: This is the best first date I’ve been on in a really long time. And that's exactly why you shouldn’t sleep with him tonight.
Here's the bottom line: You don’t want this to turn into a one-night stand, and jumping into bed with a guy you barely know is basically the same thing as having a one-night stand (minus the dinner and conversation, right?). It's taking a risk.
Here's your inner monologue: But it's been a while. And he's so nice. And so hot. I know. But picture yourself sneaking out of his apartment tomorrow with last night’s makeup on. What if, after that, he simply becomes a vague memory—someone you'll simply refer to as “Guy in Adidas sneakers with English accent.” Is it worth that risk?
HELLO. You’re on a date. A guy you really like asked you out, and you said yes. He took you for drinks on the rooftop followed by dinner at that cool place you’ve always wanted to try. He put effort into this—more than he'd put in for someone he thinks he can score with after two Blue Moons at a dive bar. Tonight you’re going to tell each other important things like your middle name, preferred pizza toppings, and favorite '80s movie. There’s no need to get naked.
And speaking of getting to know him…Just because you know his middle name doesn't mean you really know enough about him to have sex. So sleep on it. Don’t sleep with him. It's the safest decision, all things considered.
So, back to the action… You’re back at his place now getting to first or second base. You remember you didn’t get a bikini wax because you weren’t planning on sleeping with him because, ding-ding-ding, it’s a first date. And there’s even a chance he wasn’t planning to sleep with you, so he didn't bother running to the drugstore that morning to replenish his condom supply. Most likely, there are plenty of reasons that one or both of you were unprepared to do the deed, so why rush it? Again, all signs point to wait.
Yes, wait. To see if he’ll text or call the next day and hopefully say something like, “Awesome night. Let’s do it again.” (And by “do it again,” he means go out for dinner.)
Save yourself from the disappointment of wondering if he didn’t text or call because you gave him too much too quickly and he doesn’t need to try anymore, or that you were too drunk, or whatever the case may be. Isn't it better to just say no than have to tell your girlfriends a sad story over brunch the next weekend?
What's your take? Is it worth it to have sex on a first date if you want to, or do you think it's usually a bad idea?